🛠️ Toolbox #10: Multi-Tasking Myths, The Science of Persuasion and Do More Stuff Theory

🛠️ Welcome to the Weekly Toolbox. Our most practical resources, tools and strategies so you can level up each week in minutes.

1. The Myth of Multi-Tasking | Dr Sarah McKay

Dr Sarah McKay was our first ever guest on the BrainTools Podcast, and for good reason. She’s a well of knowledge about the brain, and showcases this with aplomb in this blog post on multi-tasking. Our stop-what-you’re-doing-right-now statistic is below:

2. Clear Thinking | Shane Parrish

Shane Parrish was an ex-CIA big-wig turned writer about decision-making. He has spent the better part of the last decade documenting the process of making better decisions on his excellent blog, Farnham Street.

Last year he released a book which compiles all his best advice on decision making, including wisdom from practice and behavioural sciences. It’s a must read for leaders - plus it’s short too!

3. Persuade Better with Brain Science | BrainTools #38

Whether it's pay rise season, you've trying to convince your kid to put shoes on or your friend to watch the movie you want, everyday we persuade others. And most of us aren't very good at it. We give 8 BrainTools for getting better at persuading others by connecting with them through how our brains work. 

Listen on Apple or Spotify.

🤔 Brain Riddle

I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?

Find the answer at the bottom of the newsletter!

🪇 Do More Stuff Theory

Most of the time we feel stuck is because we don’t have enough activity in our lives to fill the space. We feel stagnant when we’re stationary.

The easiest way to increase your baseline levels of happiness and wellbeing: do more stuff. In psychology, this is known as Behavioral Activation Therapy.

The gist is simple: do more of the things you value to feel better.

Implementation

1. Take out your calendar. For the next month, have a look at how many times you’re engaging in things that matter to you.

2. For each week, ensure you have at least 1 activity scheduled.

3. Repeat this for the next 4 weeks.

4. To double down on the benefits, aim for a 2x weekly frequency

By amplifying your volume of activities that bring you joy, your elevates your overall baseline of happiness and satisfaction.

Or simply put, do more of the stuff you like to feel more better.

Further Reading & Studies

• New directions in behavioral activation

• A Narrative Review of Empirical Literature of Behavioral Activation Treatment for Depression

🍽️ The Monthly Relationship Dinner

The romantic movement started in the 1800s and captured our imaginations. To find someone to love romantically was our destiny and a core part of our happiness.

Here’s how the narrative goes:

We meet a special person. They are inwardly and outwardly b-e-a-utiful. We have an instantaneous attraction and our love is intuitive. We have no secrets. We have no problems. Everything is, can and will be easy. They are the “one”.

This thinking often leads us to take our relationship for granted. We assume everything will be fun. We get stuck in the idea of our relationship, rather than tangibly working on them.

That’s why The Monthly Relationship Dinner can prevent your relationship - personal or professional - from sliding into a funk.

Implementation

1. Pencil in a recurring date and time into your calendar. Yes, calendar invites are a must.

2. Adopt the philosophy of seeking to understand, before seeking to be understood. This helps cultivate psychological safety.

3. Create platform questions you’ll ask routinely like: What’s going well? What could be better? How can we make our relationship the best it can be? What can I work on for next month?

4. Set clear actions that you’ll revisit at the end of each month.

In the same way a company runs a quarterly board meeting, your relationship should have check-ins to keep it on track. And yes, we’ve aligned board meetings with romantic relationships. Sorry, not sorry.

The monthly dinner is just that. A space for open, honest and clear communication. A forum to discuss your wants and needs that may not be currently met, or of course, that are! And most of all, to double down on all the behaviours and acts of service that make your relationship great.

Research & Further Reading

• Marriage Meetings

• The HR-ification of Marriage